Don’t you wish you could have some steps to get through any hardship when you’re struggling? A checklist for how to rise up?
Through my recent struggle where I lost a baby and was so sad and angry, I have developed a system of 5 steps to get through any hardship. Basically, I very much dislike feeling so low. I prefer to be happy and live life to the fullest! So, I took a break from the website for a while so I could recover.
And I’m excited to tell you today that that lag period is ended. I am ready to be showing up again! If you’re reading this later on, this post was written October of 2020.
Here’s what you’ll find in this post:
– I am going to let you kind of give you a little information on the lowest point in my life.
– I want to share with you some tips that I’ve learned along the way through my journey of struggle.
– My 5 Steps to Get Through Any Hardship for you to try out whenever you’re struggling.
I want to invite you to sit back, relax, and just take a listen to these steps to get through any hardship because this is going to get kind of deep. I’m going to tell you everything I’ve been going through in order to help you get through your struggle. But not only that kind of how I have lifted myself out of it. And definitely haven’t done it by myself and it’s taken a very long time. I want to I’m going to share with you five steps that I believe helped me get through this hardship. This deep hardship, the worst hardship I’ve ever been through in my life.
I believe with every difficult problem or darkness you might face, there are solutions and sunny skies ahead. So keep pushing on. This is for you if you have been struggling, if you’ve been depressed, or suffering a loss, or experiencing a low point.
Listen to the Podcast Episode:
Where Did I Go?
First, I’ll tell you a little bit about where I’ve been. I had a miscarriage on April 20, 2020. I went into the doctor for my ultrasound and there was no heartbeat.
And it’s still very tender to talk about. I know that there are many of you out there who has gone through this because it’s pretty common. It’s a horrible thing to go through. No mother ever wants to do go through this. I’m still struggling with it. I’ve been told I probably always will feel very sad at times.
My journey day by day depends up on the day.
But the main thing is just trying to feel like I can move on again from it and maybe even try for another baby at some point. I want to accomplish things again, because I was very much depressed. So, I took a break from work because I kind of just felt like I needed to take a break from getting content out and and sharing my messages. I didn’t feel like I had anything too good to say because I wasn’t feeling good about myself because blamed myself for the miscarriage. I was trying to figure out what happened, what went wrong. What did I do wrong? It’s hard to explain the feeling until you’ve been through it.
I may have mentioned this on some of the other episodes, but I will mention to you that one thing that really helped me is listening to a podcast called Life after Miscarriage. There’s lots of episodes of women who have been through it. And so if you have or have, if you have went through a miscarriage before or a loss of some sort, go find that podcast and listen to some of the episodes. And it’ll help build you back up, hopefully, like it did me, it definitely helped me a lot. So that is one little piece of advice that I’m going to go further into later. Because it’s one of the 5 steps to get through any hardship.
So that’s kind of where I’ve been the past several months of taking a break from the online world.
Also, you know, garden season started, I didn’t have anything, I’d planned to record episodes ahead of time, so I wouldn’t miss any weeks. And with the miscarriage and everything, I just, I didn’t feel like putting myself out there and, and helping people I guess, which is, you know, which is another example, if you don’t feel like you love yourself, how are you going to love others? If I don’t feel happy with myself? How am I going to feel happy with the content that I’m providing you. And I did not feel happy with myself for a very long time.
So that is one example. You know, I think I’ve said it before, and some other episodes, you know, you have to take care of yourself first.
I really needed to take care of myself.
So I’ve been doing that. And thanks to quarantine, my husband was kind of off for most of the summer away from his job, he still he was still working from home.
But that gave him more time to, to help with the veggie business to the vegetable business. And we did that since May, for May two, this is our last week for our vegetable CSA. So we’ve been really busy with that. That is kind of where I’ve been what we’ve been doing. Now I have kind of build up from that. I’m feeling so much better, it’s time to start sharing again and start helping you guys helping others who listen who read, hopefully, take my courses. And so I can help others who are going through a hardship or facing problems.
You know, that’s kind of what I feel my calling is.
And I am now going to share with you five steps to get through any hardship that has helped me get through this hardship, and by ways that I believe can get you through any hardship at all. Because if you go through a loss, it’s very hard to come back for a bit. I mean, it’s you go through grief, you go through every emotion possible. It’s just tough. And so and in the beginning, you feel like you don’t know how you’re going to get through it.
You don’t know how if you’re ever going to feel worthy again, feel like yourself, love yourself again.
#1: Sit in the Quiet
The first of the steps to get through any hardship that really helped me as I look back on my journey is finding some quiet time. Just stopping everything and sitting in the quiet.
There’s lots of places to find quiet.
We were having baby lambs during that time in May. And I just went out I would go out there every day. And I would sit with those sheep and I would just watch them, I would watch them play. It would be super quiet except for the buying of the lambs and just nature all around me and it was so peaceful.
And that’s all I wanted to do was sit with my feelings. I would go into my garden and sit with the plants or plant new seeds or plants or just play in the dirt. I wouldn’t even be listening to audiobooks like I normally do. It would just be me and outside nature.
The quiet is where I could really just sit and think and focus.
I would just try to clear my head completely and just be there in the quiet. And I thought about a lot of different things, but sometimes I just wanted to clear my head and think about nothing. If I was just watching the animals or watching something, and not really thinking about struggle or the darkness or anything of it. It would really just feel like I was at peace.
And through this period, I knew that if I would just sit in the quiet, I would pray trying to ask God why why he could let this happen. And since then, it seems like the Bible study that we’ve been doing at Sunday school and church have really spoke to me in that. Different lessons that we’ve been learning have really been on that topic of when bad things happen Where is God? Why do bad things happen?
And the truth is – there’s just a reason.
We don’t always know what that reason is. And but it’s always for good because God is always good. In the end, there’s going to be something even better at the end.
And so that is just what I was focusing on. I was so angry, every emotion in the book is what I was, but I tried to have faith through this time. I wanted to continue to be a good mom to my girls. Along with that, I was trying to be grateful for what I have – trying to find that positivity again. So being grateful, practicing gratitude, and that quiet place together has been really helpful.
So along with quiet, focus on eventually what it is that you are grateful for and what you want to get out of this time. Because there’s always a lesson in it and you kind of have to get through the initial anger and sadness and stuff. There’s none of this is a quick fix. It’s a marathon. And so sometimes the quiet period has to last a while until you’re not so angry anymore until you can start to focus on something for good later on.
So when you’re sitting in that quiet, just kind of think about and focus on what you want.
In the end things, that you want to accomplish things that can bring you back to life. Also in that time of focus is thinking about self care for you.
Remember when I said you have to take care of yourself. I mean it. You have to put yourself first. And I know when you have kids or pets, that kind of sounds selfish. But it’s true! You have to do some things for yourself to and use your community to help you with the rest.
So when I was sitting in the quiet, I started focusing about what I could do for myself to get better.
And one of those things was getting plenty of sleep. So I started allowing myself to get more sleep. That’s the one thing that I knew I had to do for myself in order to get better.
So what is one thing that you can do for yourself to get better if you are going through something like this? Think about that, when you’re sitting in the quiet. Along with the self care and focus on what you want, you can start focusing on your goals for the future.
#3: Goals & Planning Out the steps
So you want to think about your long term goals? What is what are some things that you want?
– Do you want to make some money?
– Do you want to get a new pet, if you lost your pet? Eventually?
– Are you wanting to lose weight that would make you feel better?
What if you don’t know what goals to focus on?
That’s where when you’re unsure, when you’re not clear, go back to step one, go back to the quiet and just start all over. Like I said, this time of recovery is a marathon. It’s not a quick turnaround when you go through something devastating. It will take you some time to get back going again.
So quiet focus, and then decide on your goals. When you’ve decided on your goals, plan those steps out of how you’re going to achieve that goal. Maybe it has something to do with the kind of person you want to be or something you’ve always wanted to achieve. Maybe you want to lose 20 pounds to be healthier.
So if you’re really sure about this goal, you need to set a time limit and then some steps and where you’re going to achieve it. So that’s just an example. You can plan it all out using like a Google Calendar, or you can use a written calendar as well. I actually use both so that when I’m when we’re driving a vehicle, and I don’t have my planner, and we’re talking about the future, I can just put it into my Google Calendar, and then put it into my written planner at home. It works out pretty well that way.
Okay. You really need to have community.
When I was going through miscarriage, I really figured out who my community truly is. And you will, too. You find out who your best friends are. Who are the people that would do absolutely anything for you when you are struggling in your worst struggle ever? You need to think about who those people are, who those people might be, and then they’ll kind of come to the forefront when you actually hit that low point.
My own community is fairly small.
It’s immediate family. It’s my husband and parents. I could have not gone through this hardship without him. He took care of the girls for me when I needed that quiet. He cooked the meals he made sure the house was clean. Granted, he was home. He was working from home at that time, but I think he still would have taken some time to be with me to let me have this time, thankfully.
So you need someone like who’s going to take the time for you to help you with things that you need. If you feel like you have no one to talk to, I do have an online community you can join. It’s the Farm Fit Living Ruralite Community. Please feel free to join and, and make some friends in that community.
You can also email me if you need to reach out. Find my contact email here. I’m always available to chat. If you ever need anyone, if you feel like you’re on your last leg, and you can’t do and you’re struggling so hard, please know that you’re not alone. And that there is someone out there willing to listen.
#5: Resources for the Steps to Get Through Any Hardship
What resources do you need for implementing these strategies and all your action with them. You can’t make any changes to your life without action! So whatever goal it is that you have for yourself, you can Google, you can ask around and create a list of websites and tools for implementing what what you need to implement to reach your goals.
Little by little as you reach your goals, you’ll you will start to feel alive again and human again, and it will be amazing.
During my journey of recovery, I am so glad that we had our veggie business. It was amazing an amazing year. This year, we doubled our our CSA membership, which is basically a vegetable membership. We also did farmers markets. People were so outpouring of love and we had an amazing amount of sales. It was just a great summer.
And so that kind of lifted me up and gave me so much energy. It was just an amazing thing. So that is just an example from my own experience. And something that I wanted to share with you because I know I’m not alone. And I wanted to be sure that I could share these five tips with you today.
Please Know You Aren’t Alone!
Friend, I hope that this has helped you. I hope that the next time that you’re struggling through a loss or any hardship whatsoever, that you can follow the 5 steps to get through any hardship.
To review, these include:
1. Sitting in the quiet with all the feels.
2. Focus on what you need to feel human again to be on top.
3. Figure out what your goals are along with the steps you need to achieve them.
4. Talk to someone you trust who can be excited for you.
5. Find those resources that you need to get to where you want to be.
I truly hope this helps you as it has helped me. I hope along with the community friend, I am so glad to be back in your earbuds today. And along with the community along with the Facebook community. Know that more planning and focus resources are going to be coming your way as soon as I can create them.
I’m here today to tell you that that there is a way out of it. Practicing these steps to get through any hardship is the way. It’s not going to happen overnight. But there is a way out of the struggle and that great things are going to be coming your way very soon.
Wrap Up & Resources
I’m here for you. And I will be back again next week with another episode.
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You know the message: You deserve to live and work the way you want to without the worry, without the fear and the overwhelm. I truly hope these steps to get through any hardship is just what you need to move forward again.