You can’t do that. That will never work. What you did was silly. You probably shouldn’t do it again.
Does this sound familiar to you? The truth is we’ve all heard that voice telling us we shouldn’t do something we wanted to do – That it was stupid and why did we waste our time doing it?
The truth is, friend, that that was just our critic. It makes us feel like we’re nothing at first and it especially hurts when we’re being vulnerable to try something new or to finally do something we’ve been dreaming about for a very long time.
There’s always going to be naysayers. Here’s a quote you may have heard related to that: You might be the juiciest peach on the tree, but there’s always going to be somebody who hates peaches.
I love that quote. Here’s another quote that I really love from one of my favorite presidents of all time, Teddy Roosevelt.
It’s not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. Who strives valiantly. Who errs, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcomings, but who does actually strive to do the deeds. Who knows great enthusiasms, great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause who at the best knows in the end the triumph as high achievement and who at the worst if he fails, fails while daring greatly.~ Teddy Roosevelt
We all have those dreams right now that we wished we could do. We wish we could be a better version of ourselves. We wish we could make so much more money. We wish that we could achieve a certain goal or go on a trip or whatever it may be.
Close your eyes and think about something that you wish you could have or do or be and then think about why you haven’t achieved that yet. Was it you? Who was it? Somebody else holding you back.
In this post, I’m going to share:
– The cruel intentions of the inner and outer critic.
– Why they make such an impact on our choices and keep us from living our best lives.
– How to overcome our biggest critics and fulfill our dreams.
Listen to the Episode:
A Little About Me
My name is Mindy Young and I am:
– A millennial farmer
– Mother of two young girls
– The wife of a critic
I’ll talk more about that later on. I love my husband dearly and I will go into that a bit later.
I’ve learned that overcoming your critics starts with being grateful for what you have already and the life that you’re given. My gratitude journal is the sponsor for today’s episode – you can get it for free below.
Right now, I want to jump right in to the two critics. We typically have two critics that are forcing us to really think about what we’re doing and maybe even eventually not do it. And that could be the worst thing. But really if you feel strongly about that thing that you’re wanting to do and it just keeps eating at you and you really feel called to do it, there’s typically someone in your life that is keeping you or nay-saying you from actually going through with it.
So I want to give the example today of my own platform Farm Fit Living and tell you about my biggest outer critic.
My Biggest Outer Critic
My biggest outer critic been my husband for years. Backing up, an outer critic is someone close to you trying to give you friendly advice, but it might hurt because they’re basically telling you – Maybe you shouldn’t do that.
The truth is that my husband and many other outer critics have no idea they’re giving you that advice and that attitude because they have no idea what you’re trying to do. They believe they know best and are giving you the right advice, no matter how much you don’t want to hear it.
That was the case with my husband Matt. He had no idea what a blog even was, let alone a podcast and even more so the past few years that I’ve had this venture, I’ve kind of had to do it around him. I don’t like doing that but I had to do what was best for me AND for you, too so that I could get my content out to you.
He just has never had any interest in what it was I’ve been trying to do and what my goals are for this platform. He has been thinking of it as a friendly hobby, since for a long time, I was making no money. I have put a lot into this because I want it to be at business.
Matt also did not approve initially of me starting to set up at farmer’s markets. That was ok, because I was scared too at first! I had no idea what in the world, how in the world that was going to play out, but in the end it was good and he’s now very supportive of of it. About halfway through the season, he saw that it was a good thing for me and for our farm. But it was harder for him to warm up to the online platform. But, he’s starting to come around as I show him how my numbers are changing from day to day.
At least he doesn’t always tell me that I need to stop doing it, but he is a good example of an outer critic. Someone who you know is close to you that you really care about, but they don’t really necessarily agree with what you’re trying to do.
The Inner Critic
The other type of critic is an inner critic and that is yourself. You may not have all the support in the world on the outside, but it’s yourself who’s holding your back. It’s your ego.
I’m reading a book right now called the ego is the enemy by Ryan Holiday and it is so good. It’s a really quick read, but there is so much good info in there.
I highly, highly recommend it if there’s something you feel like you want to do but you are holding yourself back.
For me, I’ve held myself back from doing video or even being afraid to do online courses. Now, it’s been my destiny to be a teacher. Not in the sense that you might think a teacher is, but the type of teacher that you would find in more of a casual setting.
As a kid, I remember playing teacher with my sister and brother. I would teach them and I looking back on that, I really believe that I was meant to be one. So after college when I became an Extension Agent, I learned that teaching was going to be a big part of my career.
So when I was in college going to school to be an extension agents, I was put into the role of learning how to teach college classes because one of the courses I had to take was for adult education. I had to be thrown in to kind of a role of a teacher right then, but I didn’t know it yet at the time that that I was truly going to be a teacher.
As an Extension Agent, I WAS a teacher. I put on workshops, taught courses in garden classes and series and did a series over the radio. I was a role model to the 4-H & community youth.
I was a teacher in a sense of a very casual way that I was teaching people, just not in the way you might be thinking that I did teach people. That is something I look back on and I realize that I was always meant to be a teacher.
Fast forward, I am here, I have my platform, I have my blog, podcast, my shop, and now I have found a platform to where I can put together my own online courses for you. So I am pursuing that now. Actually, I’ve been sitting on that for three years. Let me tell you more.
My Latest Inner Critic
Over time, I’ve struggled with myself and my inner critic. But here’s my latest example of something that has come to life for me.
I bought the platform where my courses would be housed three years ago and I had been sitting on it and sitting on it because my own ego, my own fear was getting in the way.
What was I afraid of? I don’t know for sure. Failure. Myself. Outer critics.
But, finally, after all this time, I have released a course that I can be happy about, that I know will truly help others and that’s what I want out of all of this is to help people to learn the skills and be happy in their lives.
Because remember – happiness is the root of everything that we do and can do successfully. We have to be happy before we can be successful.
The course platform just kind of fell into my lap. I don’t know I even came across it. It’s funny how sometimes you’re surfing around the web and you just fall into almost what you think might be a trap, but it’s actually teaching you something. It’s actually pulling you closer to your destiny of where you’re supposed to be.
I was interested because I’d already been teaching online courses through a local community college for several years before, so I knew about online platform. I always loved taking online classes too when I was taking my master’s. So I was comfortable and familiar with the online platform.
I Had Everything I Needed to Go For It
All the foundation was there for me to start building online classes. I just had to get through myself to actually go through with it all.
Finally, I believe I’ve pushed through with the launch of my first course and there will be many more courses to come in the future.
So thinking about the two, what is your biggest critic? Is it yourself or is it somebody close to you? Just think about that for a moment.
The inner critic, which is yourself, is a lot more difficult to overcome. While the outer critic is difficult enough, especially if it’s someone you live with, both can be very, very tricky to overcome. So how do you overcome them?
How to Overcome Your Biggest Critics
Well, I’m going to share with you my own experience because I feel like I’m a lot stronger than I was three years ago when I started all of this and had to deal with critics, both outer and inner. Here’s the first one:
1. Work While Your Critics Sleep:
The first thing that I did was I started getting up while everybody was asleep and working on my dream. So right now it’s five in the morning and I’ve been up for two hours. I got up at 3:00 a.m. and I’ve been doing this for over three years now so that I could avoid my critics and just get everything out there into the world.
In truth, I’m more awake in the morning. And so I felt like if I just dead and everybody’s asleep, so I felt like if I just dead the thing, I wouldn’t be filling that guilt or I wouldn’t be quote unquote wasting time as my outer critics have told me I am. So getting up in the morning, working around around those times has really helped me.
And you could, if you’re a more of a late night person, you know, do it. Do that instead. But, but kind of work around them at first to prove that you can actually do the thing.
Advice #2: Just Keep Doing It
Don’t quit. Pray about it. Don’t quit.
Just keep keeping on even when it feels hard, even when you do want to quit, when you feel so alone, like nobody’s gonna care. Keep doing it. Just keep pushing through. Deep down, you believe that you are doing this for the good.
There is a reason that you’ve been called to this and you need to keep on that journey. That journey is for you and no one else at this time. So keep on going.
Advice #3: Ask What It is You’re Supposed To Be Doing
Pray, or meditate or ask your higher power. What is it you’re actually supposed to be doing?
I do this all the time with God. I just sit in the silence and I ask, what am I supposed to be teaching about? How am I supposed to be serving my audience? What is it that they want?
And I don’t always get the answers right away, but I do eventually feel like I get them and it’s been a very eyeopening for me and it’s brought me closer to my higher power in a way that I never felt before. So that is something beautiful too. You have to be persistent.
Advice #4: Take all the time you need…Do What Works For You
You can take a break if you’re feeling overwhelmed and see if you come back to it. You know, I’ve done this so many times. That’s why it’s taken so long for me to grow this online platform and why my husband was such a critic about my work because it has taken me a very long time. I have taken breaks. Life happens and priorities sometimes overtake what it is you want to do. And that’s ok!
I took a break the summer to focus on my farmer’s market business and my produce business mainly because I was starting my CSA with more customers and I really wanted to serve them. So I took a break completely of my online platform and didn’t do anything on it. But low and behold, I was so ready to come back. And without that feeling of purpose and of this journey that I’m on, I probably wouldn’t have come back.
And you know, sitting on this course part of my business for three years has been daunting for me. Every year, I’m going to release a course and every year I fail at it. But this year, I finally got it done and I just kept coming back and coming back and coming back, you know, taking long breaks, but pushing through. And I came back.
You know, we are here for a short time, but really we have all the time in the world for the purpose that we’re put in on this earth to do. I believe God takes us when he’s ready for us to leave, not before. So if we haven’t fulfilled our purpose yet, then we have reason to be here. We have purpose to be on this earth. There is all the time in the world to get this done.
So friend, it’s going to happen for you at your own time. If you just believe in yourself and focus on the work, I believe in you that you can get it done and it will be amazing.
Advice #5: Focus on the Positive
The last piece of advice, which has been the most wonderful piece of advice for me is to keep positivity in your head. Friend, there is enough negativity in the world!
Here is what I have done for the past three years. My phone has been my lifeline. I use it to play podcasts and audio books. A lot of times I like to listen to classical music when I work, but when I’m out in the garden or doing chores around the house, I like to listen to podcasts and audio books.
Sometimes when I’m driving, I listen and even doing chores, positive podcasts and audio books is what has gotten me through these last three years. Podcasts such :
– Jenna Kutcher: Goal Digger Podcast
– Kate Ahl: Simple Pin Podcast
– Amy Porterfield: Online Marketing Made Easy Podcast.
You should go check all of them out. They are business podcasts that have really helped me to get my ideas and to give me confidence so that I can keep going.
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Here’s A Few More Tips for How to Overcome Your Biggest Critics
Let’s put it all together right here. Another tip is, of course, getting up in the morning early and taking a few minutes to meditate and say prayers. This has really helped me to open my mindset and the ideas and positivity just flows in.
Also, stretching or getting some good exercise really helps to open up the mind and and make it stronger. It is also really good for our bodies to stretch in the mornings.
I didn’t say this one in the episode, but finding an accountability partner can also help you overcome your biggest critics. Having a buddy who understands and wants you to succeed can really give you the push you need to go the extra mile.
In truth, it just takes time to push through your critics. It takes some time to figure out exactly who you are and what it is that you’re put on this earth to do and how you want to do it.
And again, we have all the time in the world – so be in the arena. Don’t be afraid to get dirty and mud thrown at you. It’s just gonna make you a stronger person. Don’t be afraid of your critics. Listen to what they say and take it to heart, but then decide whether you want to live on with it or not.
You’ve Got The Power
You can. See, you have the power to take what people say about you and throw it away. You have the power to react to your critics, whether it be positive or negative.
But you also have that power to rewrite, to write the ending to your own story, to your own destiny. So don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t be afraid to learn from those mistakes.
I have made lots of mistakes over the years and I look back on it and realize how much I’ve learned from all of them. I realize how much I let others and myself dictate how far I could go. But more importantly, how much of a stronger person I am now because I really did keep going.
You know, my biggest outer critic – there is nothing that he holds back. If he wants me to know something, he tells me and in the past I took it with a lot of emotion. He would say things sometimes about my businesses and my platforms that would make me cry, that would put me into depression and I was just really fragile with, with it all. Because I was working so hard on my businesses but he just couldn’t see.
But that has changed over time. I have grown and the things that he was saying about my businesses really just didn’t hurt me anymore. And he has gotten nicer about it all, too.
I could see what my businesses could be in the future and how many people it was helping. I could see the bigger picture of it all and I was starting to hear back from people who really loved the content I was putting out and giving me ideas for new content.
And I also learned that my audience is not my husband. Don’t get me wrong. Again, my husband is a very wonderful man, but the point of this and me using him as an example (he won’t mind – believe me) is that he was one of my biggest critics and I have gotten stronger not only because of him but because of bettering my inner critics as well. So my inner critics were holding me back, too.
Did This Empower You To Keep Pushing Through?
In the end, both critics together have made me as stronger person that I could break through and really empower people. I hope that you have found this post empowering and that you are well on your way to overcoming your critics and being the person doing the thing that you were put on this earth to do. So friend, be in that arena. Don’t be afraid, just do the thing.
If you love this episode and know of somebody who needs to hear it, please head over to Apple podcast and give us a five star rating. I would love that you can also share the episode with someone who needs to hear it. Thank you so, so much for listening today. I’ll be back next week with another interview.
Hone Your Dreams, Own Your Life and I’ll See You Down the Road.